Wedding Coordinator Tips: Why Having Someone Manage the Day Matters

A wedding day has a lot of moving parts.

There are flowers arriving, dresses being steamed, hair and makeup running on a schedule, vendors checking in, family members showing up, photos happening, music being queued, guests arriving, and a ceremony that needs to start on time.

And that is all before the reception even begins.

Here at Elmwood Farm Bed & Breakfast, we have seen how much smoother a wedding day can feel at our wedding and event venue in Williamsport, Maryland when there is someone experienced managing the timeline, the people, the vendors, and all the small details that couples may not even realize need to happen.

In this episode, Lettie talks through what a wedding coordinator does, why coordination matters, what to ask your venue, and how the right person can help keep your day organized, calm, and enjoyable from start to finish.

https://youtu.be/d941GYOXKcA?si=ar4EWLsJXva9cLra

From Lettie Wilkes

Lettie Wilkes is co-owner of Elmwood Farm Bed & Breakfast and serves as a wedding and event coordinator. She has been coordinating weddings and events for around 10 years, bringing together her experience with organization, timelines, itineraries, people management, and event flow.

Over the years, she has learned firsthand how many little details go into a wedding day, from rehearsal practice and ceremony timing to vendor arrivals, family photos, reception flow, and end-of-night sendoffs.

In this episode, Lettie shares practical advice for couples who are wondering whether they need a wedding coordinator, what that coordinator should handle, and why experience matters.

Do You Really Need a Wedding Coordinator?

The short answer is yes, especially for a wedding.

A wedding coordinator helps manage the flow of the day. They are there to keep things moving, answer questions, guide vendors, help the wedding party, organize family members, and make sure the couple is not the one handling problems on their own wedding day.

A lot of people in a wedding party may have never been in a wedding before. Some guests may not know where to go. Family members may be emotional or distracted. Vendors may need direction. Timelines can get off track quickly.

That is where a coordinator becomes valuable.

A coordinator helps make sure the ceremony, photos, reception, dinner, dances, toasts, cake cutting, and sendoff all happen in the right order and at the right time.

Without someone managing that flow, the day can become stressful fast.

Ask What Your Venue Provides

Some venues include a coordinator. Some do not.

Some venues are more of a turnkey rental space. They may give you access to the building, tell you when to arrive, and tell you when everything needs to be cleaned up. In that case, you may be responsible for managing the entire day yourself.

Other venues provide a more hands-on coordinator or venue manager.

But even if a venue says they provide a coordinator, you need to ask what that actually means.

Ask questions like:

Will the coordinator be there all day?

Will they help with the ceremony?

Will they help with rehearsal?

Will they meet vendors?

Will they help with the timeline?

Will they manage setup details?

Will they help during the reception?

Will they stay through dinner, dances, cake cutting, and sendoff?

Will they only be available for venue-related questions?

Some coordinators are there to manage the facility. Others are there to manage the wedding day itself. If you are comparing spaces, make sure you understand what is included with the event venue.

Before you assume anything, ask the venue what level of support is included, and review the wedding venue questions to ask before booking.

Understand the Cost Range

Wedding coordination can vary a lot in price.

Lettie shared that a coordinator may range from around $700 on the lower end to $10,000 on the higher end, depending on what they are doing for the couple.

A lower-priced coordinator may only help with the ceremony or a limited part of the day. A full-service or highly involved coordinator may help from start to finish, including timelines, vendor communication, rehearsal, getting-ready details, ceremony flow, reception timing, and end-of-night details.

That higher level of support often costs more because there is more responsibility involved.

If a coordinator is helping with every detail from the time you arrive until the time you leave, that person is carrying a lot. They are managing people, vendors, timing, weather concerns, setup, transitions, and problems that may never even reach the couple because the coordinator handles them first.

That peace of mind can be worth it.

If You Do Not Hire a Coordinator, Choose the Right Person

If hiring a professional coordinator does not fit your budget, you still need someone assigned to manage the day.

But choose carefully.

This should not be the bride, groom, parents, grandparents, maid of honor, best man, or anyone who is already playing an important role in the wedding.

Those people need to be present. They need to get ready, take photos, walk in the ceremony, spend time with the couple, and enjoy the day.

If you ask a close family member to coordinate, they may end up missing the moments they were supposed to be part of.

If you choose someone you know, look for someone who is:

Organized

Detailed

Calm under pressure

Able to make quick decisions

Comfortable managing people

Able to adjust when things change

Willing to follow a timeline

Confident enough to give directions

A good coordinator cannot be afraid to speak up. They need to be kind, but they also need to be firm when the timeline depends on it.

The Day Starts Earlier Than Guests Realize

Wedding coordination begins long before the ceremony.

The day often starts with hair and makeup. If you have eight to ten people getting ready, that schedule can take hours. Hair may take 30 minutes or more per person. Makeup may take 30 minutes or more per person. If one person runs behind, the entire timeline can start shifting.

A coordinator helps check in with the hair and makeup team.

They may ask:

Are we on time?

Do we need to speed anything up?

Who is next?

Is someone missing?

When does the bride need to start getting dressed?

When does the photographer arrive?

When do first looks begin?

Hair and makeup artists are focused on their work, as they should be. They are artists. But because they are focused, it helps to have someone keeping an eye on the timeline.

Someone Needs to Handle the Flowers

When the florist arrives, there are usually a lot of pieces to organize.

There may be:

Bridal bouquet

Bridesmaid bouquets

Boutonnieres

Corsages

Grandparent flowers

Parent flowers

Flower girl petals

Ceremony flowers

Reception flowers

Detail flowers for photos

Those flowers need to be placed somewhere safe, kept in water when needed, and ready when the photographer arrives.

Bridesmaid bouquets should not be knocked over. Boutonnieres need to be pinned on. Grandparents may need help with corsages. Flower pieces may need to be moved or repurposed later.

That should not fall on the photographer.

As Lettie shared, photographers are there to capture the day, not to steam dresses, pin boutonnieres, or run around looking for missing details.

A coordinator helps make sure the flowers are ready, protected, and used at the right time.

If flowers are part of your wedding vision, our guide to wedding florals walks through bouquets, boutonnieres, corsages, ceremony pieces, setup, and weather considerations.

Photo Details Should Be Ready Before the Photographer Arrives

When the photographer arrives, they often start with detail photos.

That may include:

Rings

Vow books

Invitation suite

Jewelry

Shoes

Cologne or perfume

Watch

Bouquet

Loose flowers

Dress

Suit

Special heirlooms

A coordinator can gather those items ahead of time so the photographer does not have to ask the bride where everything is.

When those details are ready, the photographer can begin right away. When they are finished, the coordinator can make sure the items go back where they need to be.

That matters because the bride may need her jewelry. The groom may need his watch.

The rings need to end up with the right person before the ceremony.

Small details can create big problems if nobody is managing them.

Dresses and Suits May Need Attention

Wedding clothes wrinkle.

Even beautiful fabric can wrinkle while hanging, traveling, or being stored. Lettie shared that she often steams dresses and suits early in the morning because wrinkles are so common.

This is another detail couples may not think about until the photographer is ready and a bridesmaid suddenly notices her dress is wrinkled.

At that point, no one wants to scramble.

A coordinator can help make sure dresses, suits, and important clothing details are ready before photos begin.

They may also help check:

Buttons

Bow ties

Zippers

Flowers

Hair pieces

Shoes

Jewelry

Pocket squares

These details may sound small, but they show up in photos.

Weather Changes the Plan

Outdoor weddings are beautiful, but weather always matters.

On a hot day, a coordinator may need to make sure the wedding party does not stay outside too long for photos. They may prepare water, build in cooling breaks, or adjust the timeline so everyone stays safe and comfortable.

On a rainy day, someone may need to place a clear mat so the bride can stand without getting mud, grass, or water on her dress.

On a cold day, blankets may need to be placed out for guests.

On a very sunny day, umbrellas, fans, or water may need to be ready before guests arrive.

These are not details the couple should be handling on their wedding day.

A coordinator looks ahead and plans for them.

Vendors Need a Point Person

Vendors need support when they arrive.

A caterer may need to know where the kitchen is, where the dumpster is, how cleanup works, whether there is an ice machine, and where plates should be cleared.

A DJ or musician may need to know where to plug in, where to set up, whether the ceremony and reception are in different locations, and whether they need a table.

A baker may need refrigeration or may need to set the cake out later because of heat. Our guide on wedding cake baker tips explains why delivery, setup, refrigeration, and timing matter so much.

A florist may need to know where ceremony pieces go, where bouquets should be placed, and whether there is water available.

A coordinator gives vendors someone to check in with so they are not trying to track down the bride, groom, parents, or wedding party.

That keeps the day calmer for everyone.

Rehearsal Practice Matters

A wedding rehearsal is not just a nice extra. It is important.

Lettie shared that weddings can easily get delayed when there is no one organizing the ceremony and no rehearsal has happened. If people do not know where to stand, when to walk, or what order things happen in, the ceremony can quickly become confusing.

A rehearsal gives everyone a visual.

It helps the wedding party understand:

Where to line up

Who walks first

Who walks with whom

Where everyone stands

What music plays

When to walk

Where to go after the ceremony

What happens during the recessional

It also helps calm nerves. Even people who seem confident can feel anxious when it is time to walk down the aisle in front of everyone.

A rehearsal gives them a chance to practice before the real moment.

If you are still early in the planning process, our guide on how to choose the right wedding or event venue can help you compare spaces, guest comfort, vendor access, parking, setup time, and weather plans.

The Processional Needs a Plan

The processional is the order of people walking into the ceremony.

Every wedding is different, but a common order may include:

Grandparents

Parents

Groom or wedding party

Bridesmaids and groomsmen

Flower girl and ring bearer

Bride with father, guardian, or chosen escort

That order needs to be planned, practiced, and coordinated with music.

If different songs are playing for grandparents, parents, wedding party, and the bride, someone needs to cue each transition. The DJ or musician needs to know what is coming next, and the wedding party needs someone telling them when to walk.

This should not be a guessing game.

A coordinator helps manage the timing, the lineup, and the communication with the music team.

Ceremony Audio Needs to Be Tested

Sound matters.

If guests cannot hear the officiant or the couple, they miss an important part of the day.

A ceremony may use a lapel mic, a handheld mic, or a standing microphone. If the ceremony is outdoors, wind can create background noise. Sometimes the mic may need to be adjusted, moved, or handled differently.

A coordinator can help work with the DJ, musician, or audio team before the ceremony begins so those details are not being figured out in front of guests.

Testing matters.

The Recessional Has an Order Too

After the ceremony, everyone needs to exit in an organized way.

The couple usually exits first, followed by the wedding party, parents, grandparents, and other key family members depending on the plan.

Just like the processional, the recessional needs a flow.

If grandparents or parents have mobility needs, the coordinator can help plan how they will exit, where they need to go, and whether they need extra time or assistance.

The goal is never to rush anyone. The goal is to make the plan work for everyone involved.

Mobility Needs Should Be Planned Ahead

Mobility can change between the time a wedding is booked and the actual wedding day.

A grandparent may need a walker. A parent may need a wheelchair. A wedding party member may be on crutches. Someone may need to be dropped off closer to the ceremony space.

A coordinator helps think through those details before the ceremony begins.

Ask:

Does anyone need a wheelchair-accessible route?

Does anyone need extra time?

Can someone be seated early?

Is there a drop-off area?

Does anyone need help getting to the front row?

Does anyone need personal items placed at their seat?

Lettie gave a simple example: some ladies may carry a purse with tissues or personal items. Instead of having them carry it down the aisle, the coordinator can place it at their seat ahead of time.

That is the kind of thoughtful detail that helps guests feel cared for.

Guest Comfort Details Need Someone Watching Them

Before guests arrive, someone needs to make sure guest comfort items are ready.

That may include:

Water

Ice

Fans

Umbrellas

Blankets

Programs

Signage

Guest book pens

Cocktail hour items

Ceremony seating

If it is hot outside, water should be cold and ready. If it is chilly, blankets should be placed before guests need them. If there is a guest book, pens should be there before guests arrive.

Lettie mentioned that pens are one of those little things people often forget.

A good coordinator notices those small details and often has backups.

The Reception Space Should Be Checked

Before the ceremony begins, the reception space should be ready.

Depending on the caterer and setup, someone may need to confirm:

Tables are set

Candles are placed

Candles are lit at the right time

Place settings are complete

Napkins are on the tables

Forks, knives, and spoons are placed

Glasses are ready

Guest book is ready

Card box is placed

Signs are set out

Dessert table is ready

Cocktail hour items are ready

Some full-service caterers handle many of these details. Others do not.

That is why it is important to know who is doing what.

A coordinator can double-check the space so the couple does not have to.

Cocktail Hour Needs Coordination

Once the ceremony ends, guests often move into cocktail hour.

That transition should feel smooth.

Drinks should be ready. Appetizers should be set out. Napkins, plates, and serving utensils should be available. The bartender should be prepared. Non-alcoholic and alcoholic drinks should be cold.

Lettie also shared that she does not recommend serving alcoholic drinks during the ceremony. In her experience, alcohol is better suited for cocktail hour after the ceremony is complete.

Every couple and venue may handle this differently, but the main point is this: cocktail hour should be planned before guests arrive.

It should not be a last-minute scramble.

First Looks Need Privacy and Timing

Many couples choose to do first looks.

That may include:

Bride and groom first look

Bride and father first look

Bride and grandfather first look

Bride and mother first look

Bridesmaids first look

These moments need coordination.

Where will they happen? Who needs to be there? Is the photographer ready? Is the videographer ready? Is the groom nearby? Does the bride need to stay hidden? Are both sides getting ready at the same location?

If the couple does not want to see each other before the ceremony, someone needs to help manage movement around the property.

The coordinator helps communicate those boundaries so the photographer and videographer can focus on capturing the moment.

If you want to picture where first looks, family photos, or ceremony moments could happen, you can see our wedding and event spaces before planning your timeline.

Children and Grandparents May Need a Later Arrival

Long wedding days can be hard on little ones and older family members.

Flower girls and ring bearers may not need to arrive early in the morning. If they are dressed too soon, they may get tired, messy, or overwhelmed before the ceremony begins.

Lettie shared that it is often better to dress children closer to ceremony time. A flower basket should not be handed to a flower girl too early either, unless you want petals everywhere before the aisle moment.

Grandparents may also need help when they arrive. They may need corsages or boutonnieres placed, a comfortable spot to sit, or assistance getting to the ceremony area.

A coordinator can help make those arrivals smoother and less stressful.

Family Photos Need Organization

Family photos after the ceremony can be one of the hardest parts of the day to manage.

People wander off. Kids get restless. Grandparents need a seat. Extended family members do not know when they are needed. The photographer is trying to move quickly, but no one knows who should be next.

This is where a coordinator can make a huge difference.

Before the wedding, couples should create a photo list and share it with both the photographer and coordinator.

After the ceremony, the coordinator can call people by name and keep the line moving.

For example:

“You’re next.”

“Please stay close.”

“We need grandparents after this photo.”

“The bride’s siblings are on deck.”

This helps the photographer work faster and keeps guests from waiting too long before the reception begins.

Lettie recommends keeping those post-ceremony photos to around an hour when possible. Guests should not be left waiting through an extended cocktail hour while photos drag on.

The Reception Timeline Should Be Clear

Once the reception begins, there is another full timeline to manage.

That may include:

Wedding party entrances

Couple entrance

First dance

Father-daughter dance

Mother-son dance

Special dances

Blessing

Dinner

Toasts

Cake cutting

Bouquet toss

Garter toss

Open dancing

Private moments

Sendoff

Every couple is different. Some want formal entrances. Some only want the couple announced. Some want traditional dances. Some add a special dance with a grandparent. Some skip bouquet and garter tosses altogether.

There is no right or wrong.

But there does need to be a plan.

The coordinator works with the DJ, musician, or master of ceremonies to make sure each event happens in order and at the right time.

Do Not Surprise People With Responsibilities

If someone is giving a blessing or toast, they need to know ahead of time.

As Lettie joked, you do not want the DJ to announce Uncle Jim for the blessing while Uncle Jim is sitting there thinking, “What? I’m doing the blessing?”

Those moments need to be planned.

The coordinator should know who is speaking, where they are sitting, and when they need to be ready.

For toasts, Lettie likes to give people a 15-minute warning. That gives them time to prepare, calm their nerves, find their notes, and be ready when called.

Small communication steps like that make the reception feel much smoother.

Cake Cutting Can Be Public or Private

Cake cutting does not have to look the same at every wedding.

Some couples want it announced so guests can gather around and watch. Other couples prefer a private cake cutting with only the photographer nearby.

Both options are fine.

The key is making sure the coordinator, photographer, videographer, and DJ know the plan.

If it is private, the coordinator can quietly gather the couple and photographer. If it is public, the DJ can announce it and the coordinator can make sure the cake knife, plate, napkin, and setup are ready.

Again, it all comes back to communication.

Sendoffs Need Safety and Direction

Many couples like to end the night with a sendoff.

That might include:

Sparklers

Confetti

Bubbles

Streamers

Flower petals

Glow sticks

Venue rules matter here.

Some venues do not allow sparklers because of fire risk. Some do not allow confetti unless it is biodegradable. Some may have cleanup restrictions or safety rules.

If sparklers are allowed, guests need clear instructions. They need to stand far enough away from the couple, away from buildings, and with safety in mind. Water should be nearby, and someone needs to be firm about how the sendoff will work.

This is another place where a coordinator needs to manage people.

People do not always listen the first time, especially at the end of a wedding reception. A coordinator helps keep the sendoff organized and safe so the photographer can capture the moment without worrying about guests getting too close.

Venue rules matter here, so make sure you understand the property’s event policies before planning sparklers, confetti, sendoffs, décor, or cleanup details.

A Good Coordinator Protects the Experience

By the time you hear everything a coordinator does, it becomes easier to understand why they matter.

A wedding coordinator helps with:

Getting-ready timeline

Hair and makeup timing

Flowers

Boutonnieres and corsages

Photographer details

Dress and suit steaming

Weather adjustments

Vendor check-ins

Rehearsal practice

Ceremony lineup

Music cues

Microphone checks

Accessibility needs

Guest comfort items

Reception setup

Cocktail hour

First looks

Children and grandparents

Family photos

Reception timeline

Toasts

Cake cutting

Dances

Tosses

Sendoff

Vendor communication

Keeping the day on time

That is a lot.

And that is exactly why the couple should not be the ones managing it.

Final Thoughts

A wedding coordinator is not just there to hold a clipboard.

A good coordinator protects your peace. They manage the timeline, guide the people, support the vendors, watch the details, solve the little problems, and help the day feel seamless.

They are the person making sure everyone knows where to go, what happens next, and how the couple’s vision should come together.

Here at Elmwood Farm Bed & Breakfast, we believe weddings should feel beautiful, organized, welcoming, and personal from start to finish. The right coordinator helps make that possible.

If you’re planning your wedding, ask what coordination support your venue provides, decide what level of help you need, and make sure someone experienced is managing the day.

Your family should be present. Your wedding party should enjoy the moment. Your photographer should be capturing memories. And you should be able to look back years from now and remember the joy, not the stress.

Come visit us, bring your questions, and schedule a tour of Elmwood Farm so we can talk through what your wedding day could look like here.

FAQs

Do I really need a wedding coordinator?

Yes, a wedding coordinator is very helpful because they manage the timeline, vendors, ceremony flow, reception events, and many small details that keep the day running smoothly.

What does a wedding coordinator do?

A wedding coordinator helps organize the wedding day timeline, guides vendors, supports the wedding party, manages ceremony and reception flow, helps with rehearsal, and solves problems throughout the day.

Does every venue provide a coordinator?

No. Some venues provide a coordinator, some only provide a venue manager, and some provide no coordination support at all. Always ask what is included before booking.

Can a family member be our wedding coordinator?

A family member can help, but it is usually not ideal if they are part of the wedding day. A coordinator should be someone organized, calm, detailed, and available to manage the day without missing important moments.

Why is rehearsal important?

Rehearsal helps the wedding party, family, and officiant understand where to stand, when to walk, what music cues to follow, and how the ceremony will flow.

Who keeps the wedding day timeline on track?

The coordinator usually keeps the timeline on track by checking in with hair and makeup, vendors, the photographer, the DJ, the caterer, the wedding party, and the couple throughout the day.

What should we ask a venue about coordination?

Ask whether a coordinator is included, how long they will be onsite, whether they help with rehearsal, whether they manage vendors, and whether they stay through the reception.

For more details about weddings, private events, setup, capacity, and property tours, visit our wedding and event FAQs.

Full Video Transcript

Transcript

Transcript lightly edited for clarity.

Lettie Wilkes:Hey everyone, this is Lettie. I’m back with my wedding and event podcast.

Thus far, we’ve talked about selecting your venue and how important that is. I’ve had Christina Price here as a florist, so we talked about the floral industry and preparing for an event or wedding. I’ve also had Christine Leatherman from Flourish Cakery here to talk about cakes, desserts, and all the ins and outs that come with events and weddings.

Today I’m back, just me, and we’re going to talk about wedding coordination and what all goes into wedding coordination, which is a lot. You might want to put your earphones in, go on a jog, or make some food because I have a lot of information to share.

First of all, a lot of people ask, what does a wedding coordinator or event coordinator do? Is it needed? Is it not needed? I’m going to get into all those details today.

A wedding coordinator needs to be a person with experience. I have been doing wedding and event coordination now for 10 years. When I started, I did not have direct experience in it, but my previous career involved a lot of organization, timelines, itineraries, and managing people. I was a college coach and also an administrator at one point, so that experience translated into wedding coordination.

Of course, when I first started, there were trials and tribulations. There were dos and don’ts, and there were things I learned that I now put into play. With 10 years of experience, I have certainly learned a lot, and I want to share some of those things with you.

A lot of people ask, is a wedding coordinator needed? I will tell you, yes, it is very essential.

There is a lot that goes into the day with a timeline. A lot of people I work with have never been to a wedding before or have never been in a wedding before, so they have no clue what they are supposed to do. There are some old traditional ways we think of weddings that do not necessarily have to happen today, but there are still some formalities and things that have to happen so the ceremony flows correctly, the reception flows correctly, and everything comes together.

The first thing you need to know is what your venue provides. Some venues provide a coordinator and some venues do not. Some are more of a turnkey operation where they tell you what time to be there, give you the key, and say, “Have at it and be out of here by this time.” They are certainly not going to provide a coordinator.

A venue that is a little more detailed may provide a coordinator, but what does that coordinator do? Are they just there to show you where things are in the facility when you need them, then they leave? Or are they there for an extended amount of time while you are at the facility, helping with all the things I am going to talk about?

Again, the venue might provide one, or you might decide that you want to provide one. Of course, this comes down to whether it fits in your budget. We all have different budgets. There is nothing wrong with that. Everybody is on a different scale.

You need to look at the cost of what a wedding coordinator might be. A coordinator can range anywhere from $700, which is very minimal, the whole way to $10,000, where they are doing a lot for you.

If that does not seem right for your budget, then you can certainly designate somebody. Maybe it is a close family friend, an acquaintance with your family, or maybe a family member, although I do not usually recommend that because they are probably going to be part of something. If you choose a family member, it should probably be a more distant family member.

You want to designate somebody who is organized, very detailed, and able to handle quick tasks and quick adjustments. They need to be able to modify, adapt, and honestly manage people. If you cannot hire somebody, that is the criteria you need to think through when choosing that individual.

If you hire somebody, you really want to sit down and be thoughtful. It is like selecting a venue. You want to be thoughtful about who you select.

What does this coordinator do? I do know there are a lot of people out there who call themselves coordinators, and I would not say that they are true coordinators. A true coordinator is going to do pretty much everything for you.

Why do you need a wedding coordinator? There are many reasons.

First is the flow of the day. How early does the day start? For many brides and bridesmaids, they are getting hair and makeup done at the facility. That needs to be on a schedule. If you have eight to ten girls, it takes a while. It can be 30 minutes or more just to get hair done and 30 minutes or more to get makeup done. When you have that many people, the day goes by very quickly.

You need to have an organized timeline for who is getting makeup done, who is getting hair done, who is switching next, and when each person is going. Hopefully that allows the day to flow.

At my facility, I check in on the hair and makeup artists. Are they okay? How are we doing on time? Are we running a little behind? Do we need to pick up the pace? Hair and makeup artists are into what they do. They are artists. They are doing design on the face and design on the hair, and sometimes when you get into that, you can lose sight of time. It is very helpful to keep everybody on time.

That is one of the first things as the day starts.

As the day moves on, the florist is probably going to come and deliver flowers. You have bridesmaids’ bouquets. You have boutonnieres for the men. You might have flowers for grandparents, which Christina and I talked about and how that is very important. It is a nice touch because your grandparents are very important and they are going to be part of your ceremony.

Who is going to operate and handle those flowers? Where do they go? Where do they sit so they are not knocked over? The girls’ flowers are in water. We have to be able to get to them easily when it is time to take pictures and when the photographer arrives.

Who is going to put the boutonnieres on the suits, shirts, or vests for the guys? That is not the photographer’s job. They do not get there and want to have to do all this stuff. They do not plan that into their day.

When grandparents arrive, who is attaching their flowers? There are all these things.

When the photographer arrives, the details should already be set out and ready to go. They should not be asking, “Where are your rings? Where are your vow books? Did you bring an invitation with you? Can I use some flowers that are in your color scheme?”

All these things should already be compiled. Your wedding coordinator, as soon as the photographer arrives, should be able to say, “I have all the details set out for you. Here is where everything is. These are all their items, and when you are done with them, let me know so I can get them to the right places.”

Jewelry needs to be ready so that when the bride gets dressed, we know exactly where it is. Maybe it is the groom’s shoes, cologne, or a watch that he is wearing. We need to get those items to him so he can put them on.

If you are going to stage the suits or the dresses, are they steamed? I can tell you that probably about 98% of the time, when I get to the dresses and suits and I am staging everything early in the morning, I steam all the time. The fabric they make today is beautiful, but it sure does wrinkle.

So, who is doing that? When the photographer gets there, the photographer is not going to have time to steam. A bridesmaid might already have her hair and makeup done, it is time to get dressed, and then she says, “Oh my gosh, my dress is wrinkled.” Who is doing that?

A lot goes into planning as the day flows.

If it is an extra hot day, how are we going to handle that? Today is extremely hot outside. If I were having a wedding today, I would be coordinating with the photographer and saying, “We are going to go out and take pictures for this amount of time, and then we need to get everyone back in to cool off.”

I would have water prepared for them because dehydration is a real thing. On these hot days, you are going to sweat.

If it is a rainy day, who is laying down a clear mat so the bride can stand on it without getting her dress wet, muddy, or full of grass? A coordinator has to be there to do that.

I am sorry, but your mom, your dad, your maid of honor, your grandmother, your grandfather, and all these people who are part of your special day and part of your ceremony do not have time to do these things. Everybody thinks they do, but they do not. It creates serious anxiety, more stress, and disagreements.

This is a special day and a special moment. This is not the time for disagreement, anxiety, or extra stress. It is already emotional and special.

If your venue has a coordinator onsite, they are probably going to meet with your vendors. Vendors need support when they arrive. You do not want them coming in sight unseen.

For instance, I am the coordinator at my venue. If I have a vendor I have never had at my establishment before, I have them come meet with me ahead of time. Caterers see my kitchen. They know where our dumpster is. They know how we flow, how we pick up plates, where this is, where that is.

When they get there the day of, they know that I have an ice machine and they do not have to bring extra ice. These are things I do not have to handle the day of because we already covered them.

DJs or musicians need to know where they plug in. Where are they going to be staged? Is the ceremony in a different location from the reception? Do they need a table? Do they not need a table?

It is very helpful to have somebody meet with them ahead of time. If that is not the case, then when the vendor gets there, the coordinator can make sure everything is done exactly how it needs to be done. They have everything they need, everybody is on the same timeframe, and we are all following the same timeline.

Sometimes, on a hot day like today, if a cake arrives and it is more of an outdoor venue, the coordinator may need to have that cake set up at a later time. That may be different from the normal time because of the heat.

As I am talking about these things, it probably makes sense that somebody else is not going to be able to run and do all this when they have 50 other things to do, pictures to take, staging to do, getting ready, and getting in line for the ceremony. It is going to be very difficult for somebody in the bridal party, your mom, your dad, or you as the bride to have time to do that.

Another thing a wedding coordinator helps with is rehearsal practice.

Rehearsal practice is definitely needed. If you do not have anybody organizing it, I have found that it can become an extreme disaster. Nothing is on time.

I have personally been to weddings where the wedding is supposed to start at 4:00, and we are still sitting there at 4:30 wondering, “What is going on? Is everybody okay? What is happening?” I can guarantee you that many times, it is because they do not have anybody organizing them, getting them in line, or they did not do a rehearsal practice at all.

Rehearsal practice is strictly a visual so everybody can be prepared. They know what is going to happen the next day. They get to practice so it feels easier and some of the nervousness goes away.

A lot of people in the wedding party get anxious. They might not act like it, but they do. Sometimes they are not going to remember everything they have to do, so rehearsal gives them a visual.

If you are getting married in a church, a lot of times they will have a wedding coordinator, or the pastor of the church may be really good at orchestrating how the process goes. Sometimes churches do not have wedding coordinators. If you hire one for your reception, you might have them at your church ceremony as well. Just go over that with the pastor or coordinator there. Say, “I have a coordinator also, and we are going to utilize them at the church.” That way they know ahead of time and can work together as a team.

If you are not getting married in a church and you are getting married at an outdoor venue, indoor venue, or wherever, you need to have somebody there to help with the ceremony.

For rehearsal practice, there needs to be a staging area where everybody can get in line accordingly. Typically, that starts with your grandparents, then parents, then groomsmen and bridesmaids. If you have a ring bearer or flower girl, they would come next, and then the bride with her father, guardian, or whoever is walking her down the aisle.

It goes in an order of process. That is your processional.

Before the ceremony starts, let’s say it is 3:45 and the wedding is at 4:00. You have to get everybody in order. Make sure everybody’s buttons are tucked in, bow ties are straight, flies are zipped, the girls have their flowers, and hair pieces are right. These things sound silly, but they are items you have to double-check.

The wedding coordinator, bridal party, and everyone walking down the aisle also need to be queued with the musician, microphones, and songs. Typically, you might have one song for grandparents, one for parents, one for the bridal party, maybe one for the groom and groomsmen, and maybe another song for the bride and bridesmaids. Then, of course, the bride’s entrance is another song. All of that has to be queued up.

Who is queuing this if you do not have a coordinator? When do you know when to walk? This is not just a guessing game. Somebody needs to be there saying, “You can go,” or looking at the DJ or musician and giving the cue for the next song because the next movement is about to happen.

During the ceremony, is the microphone queued up for the officiant? A lot of times you want either a lapel mic like I am wearing right now or a standalone mic. That can be a process in itself because if it is a windy day, sometimes there can be background noise. You might not be able to use the mic because the wind creates too much noise to hear clearly.

All those things need to be tested out. The coordinator can work with the musician and DJ on that tech support so we figure it out before the ceremony, not during the ceremony when it is already happening.

There is a processional that goes into the ceremony, and there is a recessional that comes out. We recess out of the ceremony, and there is a flow again. It is usually the bride and groom, then the flower girl and ring bearer, then the bridal party, then parents, and then grandparents. The order can vary, but there needs to be a flow.

Sometimes there are mobility issues. There could be mobility issues with grandparents or parents. You might have somebody in your bridal party who has mobility issues. Does that involve a walker? Does it involve a wheelchair? Does it involve crutches?

All these things can come up between the time you plan your wedding and the wedding day. How is that planned out? How is the coordinator working with that person? Do we need a certain drop-off area for a wheelchair? Can they start from a certain location? That all needs to be determined beforehand so it flows well.

Some grandparents or parents may not be able to walk down the aisle and get to their seat easily. How can we get them to their designated seat in the front row ahead of time effectively? We are not rushing them. A lot of times they need time to make sure they are okay and have everything they need.

Something else sounds simple, but a lot of ladies like to carry a purse. Maybe it has tissues in it or something important. Instead of having them carry it down the aisle, the coordinator can go ahead of time and place it on their seat before the ceremony. Then when they get seated by their usher, it is already there for them and they do not have to worry about it.

There are a lot of strategic things that go into the day. Somebody needs to be there to manage all these details, and a coordinator is the person to do that.

Going into day-of finishing details, we have talked about the ceremony, but there are also guest comfort details.

If it is a hot day outside, guests may need water when they arrive. Is there water out in a nice arranged container? Did somebody put ice on it, or is it sitting there melting in the heat? Hot water is not going to serve the purpose.

If it is winter or cooler, sometimes people like to provide blankets for guests to put over their laps. Are they out in a timely manner when guests arrive? If it is really hot, maybe you allow people to have an umbrella to shield them from the heat. Are those ready to go? Are fans out and ready for people to use?

You do not want a last-minute moment of, “Oh my gosh, we forgot the water. There is no ice on it.” Who is going to do that? A coordinator already knows that detail needs to be taken care of.

Before the ceremony, the reception space also needs to be ready.

There are full-service caterers who do a lot, such as setting place settings, lighting candles, or taking care of the tables. But there are also caterers that people choose that are not full-service like that.

Are all the candles on the tables? Is the tablescape complete and ready to go? Have we double-checked that there is a fork, knife, and spoon at all the tables? Is there a plate, napkin, and glass everywhere?

You need to double-check. You are not the person who should do that. The coordinator is.

Has someone lit the candles if you are using them? Are there pens at the guest book if people need to sign?

That is one thing I always tell people when we are doing final touches. As a wedding coordinator, I meet with my couples four to five times before they even come for their wedding day. I do their whole timeline from the time they arrive to the time they leave, with an itinerary, and we go over all the details.

What is your guest book? Do you have signage for that? What are you doing? Do you have signage for your cards and gifts? Do you have a card box? What do all these things look like?

I often find that people have all their items and put them in a container, and I am ready to set everything out. But one thing people always seem to forget is pens for the guest book or whatever they have for people to sign. I always have some on hand, and I am sure a good wedding coordinator will have a little bag full of items. It is not their responsibility to provide everything, but it is something to remember.

It is the little tiny things.

A coordinator is going to work with the cake decorator if it is a hot day. They may say, “You need to come at this point,” or maybe there is a refrigerator onsite where the cake can be stored. Maybe the cake has to be set out after dinner because of the heat and temperature. That needs to be in the timeline and planned for.

Cocktail hour is a time when drinks should start flowing. I do not recommend having alcoholic drinks at a wedding ceremony. I know some people think that is okay, and that is completely your own opinion, but what I find is that people sometimes become inappropriate with that.

A ceremony is not a time for talking out of context, giggling out of context, or things that can come with alcoholic beverages. Plus, people tend to leave their trash at their seats, and then that is more cleanup work to do.

I do not recommend it. Alcohol should be served, if you are having it at your wedding, more when cocktail hour starts after the ceremony is over and people transition.

Something else that goes into cocktail hour is appetizers. If your caterer is not doing the hors d’oeuvres, who is setting them out? Are they prepared? Are the plates, napkins, and utensils ready for people to use? Is the bartender ready to go? Are all the beverages, whether non-alcoholic or alcoholic, iced down? They should not be iced down an hour before this is taking place. They should be iced down in the morning of your event so they are nice, cold, refreshing, and serving the purpose you planned them for.

Flowers also need to stay in water for the bridesmaids. Sometimes bridesmaids go out and get pictures ahead of time. When they come back in, the flowers should not just be laid down on a table. They need to go back into water, and there should be a towel there so they can dab them and not get their dresses wet.

It seems like a lot, but all these little details do come into play on your wedding day. They need to be ready because the photographer’s job is to capture photos of all these special times. It is not to pin on boutonnieres, tell people what to do, steam a dress, or move this here and that there. That is why you have a coordinator.

Photographers are there to take photos. Videographers are there to video. They are there to capture those wonderful moments so five years from now, ten years from now, you can look back and say, “Wow, that was such a fun time. It was so well organized, and we want to relive it again because it was so nice.”

Another thing your wedding coordinator helps with is first looks. A lot of people do first looks.

First looks can be done with the bride and her dad, the bride and her grandfather, the bride and her mom, or bridesmaids having a first look with the bride. Where are we going to do this? Are we going to do it in the facility where they are getting dressed? Do we want to do it outside?

There is a lot of coordination, and your coordinator, photographer, and videographer need to work together. It also needs to be communicated because if the bride and groom do not want to see each other and they are getting ready at the same location, we need to communicate.

Guys, you cannot leave this area right now because the bride is outside. Or bride, you cannot go out right now because the groom is outside. We need to talk to everyone and let them know, “You cannot do this until this is completed. We will let you know.”

The coordinator can do all of that while the photographer captures the vision you want them to capture.

Grandparents, flower girls, and ring bearers often do not need to come until later, closer to the ceremony time, because it can be a long day and they are not always needed for all the pictures.

When a grandparent arrives, who is putting the grandmother’s corsage on her wrist or on her dress? When Christina and I talked about florals, I mentioned that I usually do not recommend a corsage pinned on a grandmother’s apparel because the fabric can be light and delicate, and the corsage can fall. A lot of times, I would go with a wrist corsage.

Who is putting the boutonniere on the grandfather and spending a little time with them to find them a location to sit down? Hopefully that was gone over at rehearsal practice and they know what time to be there. But if you do not have that, somebody needs to meet them and help them.

Flower girls and ring bearers tend to be younger, and it is a long day for them. A lot of kids need a nap before they even get to this point. They are probably wearing a nice, special outfit for your day, and it is usually best to put them in that outfit about an hour before the ceremony. That way, they are not messing it up, crawling all over the place, and jumping around.

Kids are kids. They do kid things, and there is nothing wrong with that. But do not put them in a situation that they cannot handle.

Also, do not give a flower girl her basket an hour before the ceremony because the rose petals are going to be everywhere but in that basket. I usually do not hand it to them until they are about to walk down the aisle, and we have already talked about what they need to do. If not, you are going to be picking rose petals up about 50 times.

That is not something you want the bridesmaids, your mom, or your grandmother worrying about. You are getting in line and getting in order for this wonderful ceremony.

Photos typically happen with family, extended family, and the bridal party after the ceremony. That needs to be organized.

I would suggest you have an idea of the photos you want. Put them on paper and share them with your coordinator and photographer. After the ceremony, the coordinator can call people out. “So-and-so, you are on deck. So-and-so, you are right after this picture.”

That makes things seamless for the photographer and less stressful on them. They are not trying to herd cats.

I am going to tell you, that is the hardest part about photography: the pictures right after the ceremony with grandparents, family members, little kids, and extended family. Sometimes the bigger the family, the more difficult it becomes. If you have that organized and the coordinator can go over it with the photographer and help, it will make the photographer’s job so much easier, and you will get through pictures much quicker.

You only want to limit that to about an hour. You do not want to make guests wait at cocktail hour for two hours before you even get to the reception site, start dinner, and do all those things. Take that into consideration.

A coordinator is going to keep you on time. The ceremony is going to start on time. The pictures after are going to stay on time. The reception is going to start on time with the itinerary you have for your special day.

Following those pictures, you start your reception. You might have bridal party entrances, or you might not want that. You might just want the bride and groom, bride and bride, or groom and groom to enter. Whatever it is, you might want to go right into your order of events.

Are you doing your first dance, mother-son dance, father-daughter dance, or any other special dances? Every once in a while, I have a bride who dances with her grandfather because he was a special part of her life. That becomes another event that comes into play as the reception begins.

Some brides want to dance with their dad and their mom. All these different things come into play, and that is what makes your event unique. But those things need to be discussed and ordered so the coordinator, musician, DJ, or master of ceremonies has everything designated in a timely fashion and in the order you planned.

You need to know if you are going to have a blessing, and you need to communicate who is doing that blessing. It should not be, “Hey, Uncle Jim, by the way, you are doing the blessing today.” Then the DJ calls him up, and Uncle Jim is sitting there thinking, “What? I am doing the blessing? What are you talking about?”

That needs to be discussed. The coordinator needs to have already met Uncle Jim so we know who is doing the blessing.

The same goes for toasts and cake cutting. I like to give my maid of honor, best man, parents, family members, or whoever is doing a toast a 15-minute heads-up. To be honest, those people get anxious. They might say, “Lettie, when is this going to happen? This toast is killing me. I have it prepared and written out.”

I give them a 15-minute warning so they can get themselves together. They know it is coming and they are prepared.

Cake cuttings need to be set up with the photographer, DJ, and everyone involved. A trend happening now is that a lot of people do not want to announce cake cutting. That is completely fine, but the coordinator needs to go to the photographer and say, “They are going to do their private cake cutting. Let’s get over here so they can do this.”

You can do it privately, or you can have it announced where everybody watches. It is not right or wrong either way. You just need to let your coordinator know and have that planned out.

A lot of people today do not do garter or bouquet tosses, but again, that is up to you. That is one more thing that has to be coordinated. When are we going to do that?

I think that is a later evening thing. Once people get the juices flowing a little bit, they are more likely to go out onto the dance floor, catch the bouquet, and maybe participate in the garter toss. If you do that earlier in the day, you might not get the same participation.

Again, if you choose to do it, it needs to be part of the coordination, timeframe, and itinerary so the coordinator, DJ, musician, or band can say, “We are five minutes out from doing our tosses.” Where is the toss bouquet? Does the bride have the garter on, or do we need to get that taken care of so we are ready when it is time?

A lot of people today like to do exits. That could be a sparkler sendoff. Some venues do not allow that because of fire risk. With sparkler exits comes coordination and management of people.

You need to give guests strict instructions. You need to make sure they are not right up on the bride and groom so no one gets burned. They should not be standing near a building that can catch fire. There should be water close by. All these things matter.

As a coordinator, you need to explain all of that in detail to the guests and make sure they are paying attention to how this is going to operate. It makes things flow much easier for the photographer. The bride and groom are running up and back through the sparklers, and the photographer is trying to capture this awesome visual. If sparklers are going toward their faces, how can the photographer focus while also worrying about people getting burned?

With that comes organization and people management. People do not always listen, so you have to be firm and authoritative. That is what a coordinator is there to do.

It does not have to be sparklers. It might be confetti or whatever you decide to use. It also depends on what your venue allows. Some things are not allowed at some venues.

I certainly do not want confetti laying all over my ground. Is it biodegradable? Can you hose it down with water and it disappears? You need to ask those questions. You also need to explain to your coordinator how you want that to roll.

I covered a lot today about what a coordinator does, but I think after everything I have shared, you can understand why a coordinator is valuable for your event or wedding.

A coordinator is often used more for a wedding than for a smaller event, but the bigger an event is, the more timelines and moving parts there are. You may want a coordinator for that too.

For a wedding, the day flows from the start, getting ready, prep, photographer arrival, detail photos, ceremony staging, walking through the ceremony, having the ceremony, recessing out of the ceremony, family pictures, starting the reception, blessing, dinner, dances, cake cutting, toasts, exit, and any other special things or great ideas you may have for the reception.

How does that all coordinate with your time until the end of the night? The coordinator also works with the caterer to make sure the meal is served on time, works with the bartender to make sure everything is flowing, and works with any other outside vendors to make sure everything flows with your vision and your special day.

You need a wedding coordinator.

Again, they are going to range in price. All the things I talked about today are going to be on the higher end. A low-end coordinator may only do your ceremony and then leave. That might be closer to the $700 range.

From start to finish, with all the ins and outs, even helping you get your dress on, handling the minute details, reminding people to go to the bathroom before they get lined up, checking flies, checking buttons, and making everything seamless and stress-free, you are more on the end of $2,500 to $10,000.

Let me tell you, it is well worth every penny if you get a top-notch, high-level coordinator who takes that worry and stress away.

I hope you enjoyed today. It was a lot of information. That is why I said you might want to have those earbuds in so you can get other things done while you listen and learn.

I will be back soon with a photographer, and we are going to talk more in detail about some of the things I talked about today, how a wedding coordinator helps a photographer, and what photographers need to help capture your special day.

Years later, you can relive that special moment, smile, be happy, and laugh about all those special times from your event or marriage.

Take it easy. Stay cool. It is hot out there today, and we are in the dead of summer.